CLASS: ANTI-PALADIN

ANTI-PALADIN

 

(art by HrvojeBeslic and mindsiphon, both on DeviantArt)

 

HIT DICE: D8

ATTACK BONUS: +1

Anti-Paladins get +1 to Fortitude and Willpower saves.
Anti-Paladins can use all melee weapons and armor.
Anti-Paladins heal d4 hit points whenever they kill a mortal. (1)
Anti-Paladins can make Faith rolls to Command the Undead or Become the Nightmare. (2)
Anti-Paladins get a bonus to their Faith roll when they are committing atrocities, defiling or
desecrating that which is good or righteous, or terrorizing groups of the virtuous or innocent. (3)
Anti-Paladins start with a random Unholy Gift. (4)
Anti-Paladins get -2 to all rolls (except Faith) when they are in direct sunlight. (5)

Command The Undead: The Anti-Paladin can control (level)d6 HD worth of undead or raises (level)d6 HD of corpses as undead. (6)

Become the Nightmare: The Anti-Paladin changes form, becoming a shadowy wraith. Enemies must make a Morale check when they see the Anti-Paladin. The Anti-Paladin is immune to all attacks except magic and silver weapons in this form. The Anti-Paladin also adds their level to damage rolls. The Anti-Paladin can move at double speed and can fit through any opening that smoke or mist could fit through. This form lasts for a number of turns equal to d4 plus their level. (7)

1. This is the fun part of being an anti-paladin. Slaughter mortals, cull the weak and craven, feast on their wretched souls -- classic.

2. This is in the same vein as a paladin's roll. Anti-Paladins have Faith too, it's just in DARK AND TENEBROUS THINGS THAT SCREAM IN THE NIGHT. 

3. Also like paladins but with evil-ass thematic bonuses. Bonuses from Unholy Relics do apply.

4. Same as clerics and paladins mostly, but instead from the Unholy Gifts list below. I will probably grant more gifts as the anti-paladin levels up.

5. A flavorful disadvantage that is maybe too hindering? Nobody's complained yet.

6. Just like I patterned the paladin on Solars from Exalted, I did anti-paladins like Abyssals from Exalted. Anti-paladins are not undead but they are undead-adjacent and some necromancy powers fit them well.

7. This has been completely overpowered in play and I don't care because it's cool.

Unholy Gifts

 1. Bestial: You can turn into a wolf or snake for one hour a day.
 2. Hypnotic: Charisma goes straight to 18, or 20 if it's already 18.
 3. Nosferatu: You don't sleep, breathe, age, or have a reflection.
 4. Luck of the Devil: You can reroll any natural 1s you roll. If you roll another 1 then you keep that roll.
 5. Relentless: Your maximum hit points are immediately doubled.
 6. Unstoppable: Constitution goes straight to 18, or 20 if it's already 18.
 7. Fanatic: You get +1 to all rolls and your normal speed is doubled.
 8. Terrifying: Strength goes straight to 18, or 20 if it's already 18.
 9. Infernal: you are immune to any damage from fire or lightning.
10. Child of Darkness: You can see in pitch darkness.
11. Vile Blood: You are immune to all diseases & poisons.
12. Mark of Cain: Anyone that damages you in combat takes 1d4 damage.
13. Shadowed: You can turn invisible for (your level) rounds a day.
14. Dark Soul: You get a permanent +2 AC.
15. Arrogance: You can't be magically dominated, charmed or possessed.
16. Exalted: You can reroll any failed roll once a day.
17. Night Stalker: At night, you can fly at your walking speed.
18. Cold-Hearted: You are never afraid, and get an additional +2 to all saves.
19. The Devil's Own: You have damage reduction equal to your Wisdom modifier (minimum 1).

20. Chosen: The next time you die, you come back in 3 rounds, at full hit points.

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CLASS: PALADIN

PALADIN

(art by Tyler Jacobson and boota)

HIT DICE: D8

ATTACK BONUS: +1

Paladins get +2 to Fortitude saves.

Paladins can use all melee weapons and armor.

Paladins get a bonus to attack and damage rolls equal to their level against undead, demons, and their minions. (1)

Paladins can make a Faith roll to Blaze Like Heaven or Be The Hero. (2)

 

Paladins get a bonus to their Faith roll when they are hopelessly outnumbered, the last man standing, severely wounded, near death, or facing certain doom. (3)

Paladins can call down Divine Intervention. (4)

Paladins start with a random Holy Gift. (5)

Blaze Like Heaven: The Paladin glows brightly, lighting up the area like daylight. Enemies
must make a Morale check when they see the Paladin. The Paladin adds their level to attack and damage rolls and has damage reduction equal to twice their level. This form lasts for d4 plus their level turns. (6)

Be The Hero: The Paladin can perform an impossible feat of strength (lifting, pulling, pushing, jumping). (7)

1. Paladins are God's holy ass-kickers and they smite the unclean like it's their job (because it is). "Their minions" means like demonic cultists or devil-worshipers or a vampire's human servants.

2. This is just like a cleric's Faith roll and the abilities are described below. I haven't set a hard number to roll but it's usually high, 19 or 20 isn't out of the question. The paladin shouldn't be able to just use their Divine Ass-Kicking Powers over every little thing.

3. And anyway they get these sweet-ass thematic bonuses to their Faith roll. With my players these kinds of situations come up all the time. I also let paladins use Holy Relics for Faith bonuses like clerics do.

4. Same as clerics.

5. Also same as clerics, see the Clerics post for the list. I am toying with the idea that paladins get more random Holy Gifts as they level up.

6. This is heavily inspired by Solars from Exalted. The "add level to attack and damage" that the paladin gets against undead etc. now applies to every enemy, and it is a double bonus against undead etc. If the enemies fail their Morale check then they flee or cower or surrender.

7. The idea behind this is like a "Samson knocking down the temple, hurling massive boulders, bend bars / lift gates" kind of thing. I don't know how it plays out in our games because it has never come up so it's probably either too good or not good enough.

 

I don't force paladins to "act good" or anything like that. A paladin is free to be as ruthless and awful as, uh, every other PC. They're just more inclined to be self-righteous about it because when paladins do their murder-hobo thing across the countryside it's IN THE NAME OF GOD. It's not that paladins are "good guys" in our game, it's that they are champions of Law, which is usually confused with Good (in certain lights, if you squint) but is absolutely not the same thing. I haven't covered how we do alignments in our game yet because it's not a super big deal but I will in a later post. 

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RACE: GNOMES

Gnomes in our games are heavily influenced by two things: David the Gnome and the gnome artwork of Jakub Rozalski.

 GNOMES

 

(art by Pedro Krüger Garcia)
 

 

Gnomes get +1 to CON and +1 to WIS. (1)

Gnomes get +1 to Fortitude and Reflex saves. (1)

Gnomes are Small-sized. (2)

Gnomes get +2 to AC due to their size and quickness. (3)

Gnomes add their level as a bonus to all damage rolls. (4)

Gnomes have a +2 bonus to all climbing and jumping rolls. (5)

Gnomes can talk to wild animals. (6)

1. Gnomes are quick, tough, and wily. You have to be when everything is bigger than you and wants to eat you.

2. Most PC races are Medium or at least Medium enough that it doesn't rate any rules considerations. Gnomes are Small. In game terms that means they have half as many inventory slots as another character with the same Strength (so if the gnome has a STR of 16 she only has 8 slots). In practical terms gnomes have to use equipment that is sized for them, although I have never actually let this be a big problem at the table. Also a Small creature is supposed to get an AC bonus against Large-sized or bigger enemies but, uh, I always forget that.

3. Part of the reason I forget the Small-guy AC bonuses is because this one is baked in for gnomes.

4. This is why gnomes have survived living in a world where they have to worry about getting eaten by feral cats or badgers or owls. Because these little bastards are vicious.

5. I have tinkered with this one for a long time, I settled on a plain +2 for now.

6. Gnomes can speak the language of wild animals (like normal animals, not displacer beasts). This isn't "charm wild animals" or "tame wild animals" but it can help if that's what you're trying to do.

 

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CLASS: BARBARIAN! SMASH! CRUSH! KILL!

 BARBARIAN

 

(art by Maciej Kuciara and D. Alexander Gregory)

 

HIT DICE: D12

ATTACK BONUS: +1 for every turn of combat until the fighting is finished. (1)

Barbarians get +2 to Fortitude saves and +1 to Reflex saves. 

Barbarians can use simple weapons. 

Barbarians add their STR bonus to their AC. (2)

Barbarians deal double damage when they are at half hit points or lower. (3)

They deal triple damage when they are at 1 hit point or lower. (3)

Barbarians are not downed at 0 hit points or lower. (4)

Barbarians get a bonus to climbing, jumping, and swimming rolls equal to their level. (5)

 

1. A barbarian's attack bonus starts at plain old +1. But then! It goes up by 1 every turn of combat. Combat lasts 10 turns? That's a +10 attack bonus. There is no upper limit because THEIR RAGE IS INFINITE. "Until fighting is finished" is a vague term but it should be pretty obvious when combat is over.

2. Base unarmored AC starts at 12 (LotFP-style). So a barbarian's AC is generally between 12 and 15. Good thing they have the biggest hit dice.

3. This plus the increasing attack bonus is how we do "barbarian rage" in our games. Lower than 1 hit point is possible not just because of the next barbarian ability but also because a PC can be at 0 hp and still functioning under specific conditions (see the next bullet).

4. Most PCs are incapacitated at 0 or fewer hit points. The way we do healing and first aid means you can be at 0 hp and still do stuff, but at a -4 penalty. I'll cover all that stuff in another post. For now just know that a barbarian at less than 0 hit points is dying but not all the way dead until they hit "negative Constitution" (so like if their Constitution score is 15 then they are dead-dead at -15 hit points). They also don't get the -4 penalty to actions at 0 or fewer hit points. (I gotta post the death and dying rules so this all makes more sense.)

5. This seems pretty useful and also I don't think it has ever come up. My players never read their own character sheets.

 

 

 

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ART & SONG & CULTURE & SHIT

Here's more of my scattered ideas. These are pieces of art or songs to sprinkle the game world with. I like art as treasure, it adds to the game in a way that "you find 20 gold pieces" doesn't. I also like to put named songs that "everybody knows" in for color. I have no musical talent so there's no original melodies or anything, mostly we find something on YouTube and waste game time doing bad song parodies.

"THE BALLAD OF THE BLOODY BREWERS": A classic Dwarven drinking song with magical properties. If it's sung heartily by drunk people carrying weapons then everyone that hears the singing becomes drunk too (Will save to resist).

CHORD OF DISHARMONY: A song-spell created by Sabra the Snake. If played on an instrument of ruby & bone, anyone hearing it must save or attack their allies.

“THE FAILURES OF PIETY”: Oil on canvas, depicts a laughing red demon amidst hellfire & burning clergy and paladins. Servants of evil covet it, legend says the owner will have the favor of hell. Owning or obtaining the painting is always associated with trails of bodies, assassins, poison, slaughter -- the usual wages of evil. The painting itself is just a painting & Hell has no taste for art.

“DREAMS OF THE UNDERWORLD”: 11 line poem, overwrought & melodramatic like a moody teenager wrote it. Written long ago by a failed necrosage candidate before she was thrown into the Abyssal Labyrinth. Anti-Paladins reading or hearing it will think it fucking rules & continuously weep black tears for 24 hours afterward, they'll also get +2 to their attack bonus and armor class.

"THE FISTS OF SIR FOWLER": Rollicking pub song ostensibly about a knight that likes to punch people, most of the lyrics are just nonsense words. If sung by someone riding a drunk horse then all who hear the singing must save or begin punching themselves in the face. (This is pretty dumb and I love it.) 

TAPESTRY OF THE BATTLE OF KELVDOK: Beautiful, richly detailed tapestry depicting famous long-ago battle between elves & dwarves. Worth 30000 gold pieces to an art collector, or 7000 if damaged. Any dwarves or elves within that get a good look at it must save or attack nearest elf (for dwarves) or dwarf (for elves) until they're dead or attacker is unconscious. If the enemy species isn't nearby then no obvious effect until they are.

"THE ENIGMA OF SELF": Interactive art piece by long-dead cleric. It's a circular chamber with a polished floor covered in white and purple concentric lines. Clerics & paladins praying here for at least two hours gain +2 to all saves for next 24 hours as long as they (and their player) only refer to themselves in the 3rd person.

“A VISION OF COSMIC HORROR”: Crude sculpture by unknown Slavic artist, depicting an amorphous hairy creature with multiple eyes, mouths, & tongues that are also hands. The first time you view it you get a horrifying vision of your own cosmic insignificance. You get +1 Wisdom and -1 Constitution permanently.

I have no idea who Sabra the Snake is or what exactly you have to do to become a necrosage. I do have house rules for drunk PCs because my players are incorrigible dirtbags so we'll get to those another time.

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RACE: HALF-ORC BUT ALL-BADASS

 HALF-ORC

 

(art by unknown artist and meteorite8 respectively)

Half-Orcs get +2 to STR. (1)

Half-Orcs +2 to Fortitude saves. (1)

Half-Orcs get +2 additional hit points at every level. (1)

Half-Orcs have a +1 bonus to attack rolls made with axes. (2)

Half-Orcs can smell spilled blood within 100 feet. (3)

Half-Orcs can see in the dark as if it were daylight in anything but total darkness. (3)

Half-Orcs are immune to magical fear effects. (4)

Half-Orcs deal triple maximum damage whenever they roll a critical hit. (5)

Half-Orcs may start with a random Greenskin Quirk. If they do, they get -1 Charisma and -1 Wisdom. (6)

1. Half-Orcs are beasts.

2. Half-Orcs are brutal.

3. Half-Orcs are metal.

4. Half-Orcs don't give a shit. Yes, this is the same ability that halflings have, so when the Deathlord Iron Mouth of Hell uses his Gaze of Crippling Horror on the party, only the halfling and the half-orc will be left standing.

5. We do critical hits like this: a natural 20 on an attack roll means you do double the maximum damage for the weapon you're using. Half-Orcs do that but even more so.

6. Some Half-Orcs are more orky than others. This option is available once at character creation (but I would probably let the player take it once at any time they gained a level, this represents their orc heritage coming out). They roll on the table provided below and get a weird power befitting their goblinoid heritage. The tradeoff is greener blood means it's harder to get along in polite society.

 

 

GREENSKIN QUIRKS

So I'm pretty sure I got the majority of this table from someone else's blog but for the life of me I can't find it, I think maybe it was Goblin Punch. Sorry original creator, please let me know who you are and I will tell the world. Also go read Goblin Punch anyway.

EDIT: Found it! It's from Against the Wicked City, another blog you should read.

 

1 Firebug: You can intuitively work out what the most effective way to destroy a building or object with fire. You take half damage from fire and are unaffected by smoke inhalation.

2 Biter: You have a mouth full of razor-sharp teeth, which you can use to chew through wood, ropes, etc. Your bite does d4 plus your Strength modifier in damage.

3 Rubbery: You can jump 20 feet straight up from a standing start. You take half damage from falling.

4 Coward: You gain a +4 bonus to AC when running away and screaming.

5 Bottomfeeder: You can eat anything organic as a ration, even if it's spoiled.

6 Eelskin: You're slick and slippery like an eel. Anyone grabbing or grappling you is at a -2 penalty, and you can make an electric shock touch attack once a day for d6 damage.

7 Fungal Blood: As long as you're not in direct sunlight, you regenerate d4 hit points an hour.

8 Hyperactivity: Once a day you can go completely hyper for d6 rounds, moving at double your normal speed and attacking twice per round.

9 Lunatic: Your mind is so twisted that it's very difficult for other people to control. You are immune to mind-affecting powers and spells. Also you're utterly batshit.

10 Mushroom Mystic: Pick a Wizard spell. You can cast this spell once per day, but only when you're stoned out of your head on hallucinogenic mushrooms.

11 Persistent Freak: Whenever you die, you can permanently reduce a random ability score by d4 to instantly come back to life at d4 plus your level hit points.

12 Poison Spit: Your saliva is so poisonous that you can envenom any edged weapon by licking the blade. The next person stabbed with it must save vs. poison or suffer d6 days of horrible, incapacitating sickness with penalties to all their rolls.

13 Sneaky: As long as you're not overencumbered, you can move as soundlessly as a snail.

14 Spider Climb: As long as you're not overencumbered, you can swarm up walls and crawl along ceilings like a fucking spider. This ability won't work on completely smooth surfaces.

15 Stab Frenzy: When you hit someone in combat with a dagger, you may immediately attempt to stab them again, with a -1 penalty to hit and damage; if you hit again you can attack a third time (with an additional -1 to hit and damage, for -2 total), and so on until you either miss, hit but inflict 0 damage, or kill them. You can only use this ability while screaming incoherently.

16 Stench: You straight-up stink. Anyone in close combat with you gets -2 to their attack roll.

17 Substance Abuse: You gain +2 to-hit and damage in melee while drunk and/or high.

18 Vandalism: You have a near-supernatural ability to destroy inanimate objects. As long as you're bashing things hysterically while screaming your head off, you gain +4 to Strength rolls for the purposes of breaking things only.

19 Ugly: Even for a greenskin, you are exceedingly hideous. You can make a Morale attack against anyone that can see you. You get -2 to all reaction rolls.

20 Roll twice on this table and take both quirks. If you roll another 20 do it again. Yes, with a string of 20s you could conceivably end up with EVERY QUIRK ON HERE. That's some green-ass blood you got there.

 

 

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Wondrous Things

As I discussed in my wizard post, I like my sorcery to be twisted and dangerous. I don't like magic to be just a different kind of technology. Having said that, we also have artificers in our game, which is a class that literally mixes magic with technology. I SEE NO PROBLEM WITH THIS.

Here's an assortment of artificer gadgets for players to find. (And I'll get the artificer class posted soon.)

SNAVEEN'S DILIGENT MAGICAL MECHANISMS: This is a brass treasure chest, and inside you'll find: shears, a needle with thread, a handsaw, a hammer, and a broom. Scratched into the lid is the word JOVAKU. If you open the chest and say this command word the tools will animate, hover in the air under their own power, and flit about doing chores and being generally useful. They will return to box when the second command word is spoken (ZALINGVU -- this word was written on a piece of parchment and stuffed in the chest but now it's nowhere to be found). If the second word isn't spoken within 10 minutes the tools will do increasingly harmful/deadly "chores".

SHANG SHANG'S BITTER EYE: A fist-sized multifaceted crystal. If held by a living hand the crystal emits a disintegration ray (2d6 damage, ignores non-magical armor) every turn automatically at any fungal monsters, giant insects, and/or halflings (Shang Shang the Artificer hated all those things in particular). The crystal melts away into a puddle if exposed to 1)moonlight 2)salt water 3)the sound of church bells 4)flower petals 5)elf blood 6)poetry.

JALIRA'S LAST JEST: A finely crafted glass frog filled with a shimmering blue liquid. Smash the frog open and every humanoid creature within d6 miles polymorphs into a blue frog for d4 hours (or d4 minutes with a Fortitude save).

ZEBERO'S AFFIXABLE WINGS: A matched pair of small brown bird wings. When applied to a living creature, they meld to it and grow to a proportionate size. The creature can now fly, free and clear like a bird. They also swap 2 points of Strength for 2 points of Dexterity as bones and tendons change shape. They must eat a dozen fresh bird eggs every day or the wings rot and fall off.

MALTROBIAN'S POCKET ARMOR: A dull silver ring. Anyone wearing it can turn the ring three times and it will transform into ornate silver armor. This armor is magical, gives +5 AC, only adds 1 to encumbrance, and can be used by anyone without any armor training. The armor turns back into a ring after 2d4 turns, then it must be recharged by soaking in wine for 12 hours.

JALIRA'S MYSTICAL MUDDLER: A lavender egg-shaped device, surprisingly heavy. Any spell cast within line of sight of the Muddler becomes a Create Duck spell instead: the original spell is countered and a perfectly ordinary duck appears. The Muddler has 2d6 charges left in it, after they run out it crumbles to dust.

DARMISH'S COSMIC COLLECTION: The exquisite personal collection of the Space Wizard. It's like a science fair plus an antique store. Room-sized models of celestial bodies show events transpiring on them, although you need powerful magnification to see it. (This is just one of the things in the Collection; this is really more like its own adventure than one gadget.)

CORWELLIAN'S SPECTRAL CLOAK: A heavy silvery-blue cloak. Anyone wearing it can levitate at will, gets +3 AC, and is invisible in dim light if they remain stationary. It used to be in the personal collection of Punzo the Grasping, but it was pilfered by thieves decades ago. Punzo will murder your whole family to get it back.

MAESTRO LUCA'S ENERVATING PEPPER: Maestro Luca was a culinary enchanter who created many kitchen sorceries. This gold & ebony pepper mill can be used as a melee weapon (d6 damage) or the handle can be wound up like a regular pepper mill. The mystical pepper it produces causes uncontrollable sneezing on contact. The device never runs out of pepper.

MUZZO'S MAGNIFICENT MODULAR MAN: A platinum clockwork golem, vaguely humanoid in appearance. If you touch it and make a successful Intelligence roll the golem will change into a mechanical version of whatever creature you were thinking of. It will obey the spoken commands of anyone with an Intelligence of 15 or higher. If there's no such person around to command it, the golem will try to retreat and hide. It will viciously attack if cornered or trapped.

I like these kinds of magical items that are of questionable utility and generate entertainment at the table. (I also like giving them Jack Vance-style flowery names.) The wise course of action when you find strange items in the wild is to leave them alone but my players are more curious than wise.

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