CLASS: THE DEVIL-PUNCHING CLERIC

I haven't done a list of "fantasy deities for my elf game" so when somebody plays a cleric in our games they are specifically clerics of a more-or-less Medieval Catholic-ish Church and a nominally Judeo-Christian God. I'm not looking to exclude or offend anybody with that choice, it's just that the Middle Ages-style Church is metal as hell. SUFFER NOT THE WITCH TO LIVE! KILL THEM ALL AND GOD WILL KNOW HIS OWN! PURGE THE BLASPHEMER! THE INQUISITION! ETERNAL DAMNATION! Also we pretty explicitly have THE ACTUAL PRINCE OF DARKNESS, THE NO-SHIT DEVIL in our games (maybe too often?) and it just all ties together too well. I understand if your mileage varies on this point but my players are all godless reprobates and I don't think they'd really enjoy themselves if they couldn't have some old fashioned Hail Satan's in their game.

 

 

 CLERIC

(artwork by unknown artist & Ekaterina Burmak respectively)

 

HIT DICE: D8

ATTACK BONUS: +1

Clerics get +2 to all saves. (1)

Clerics can use simple weapons and armor.

Clerics can use Bless, Cure, Heal, and Purify once a day each. (2) Each daily use after the first requires a Faith roll. (3)

Clerics can Turn or Exorcise the undead. (4)

Clerics can call down Divine Intervention. (5)

Clerics start with one random Holy Gift. (6)

1. Seems like a lot, but to me it fits the idea of the cleric as specially blessed.

 

2. Here's the meat of the class. (The individual abilities are described below.) So there's a trend in dungeon-y RPGs where a lot of classes are really just "a different kind of wizard" and that's not for me. I want each class to feel like it does something unique. In our games clerics don't have a list of cleric spells, instead they have their specific cleric-y things that they can do. Their four main ones start from level one -- there are theoretically more that open up at higher levels but none of my players has ever played a high level cleric (actually only one person has ever played a cleric). The higher level powers would (probably) include Smite, Consecrate, Commune, and Resurrect.

 

3. The Faith roll is the all-inclusive "summon your God powers!" roll for clerics and they add their Charisma modifier to the roll (I go back and forth on if they should add Charisma or Wisdom but lately I've stuck with Charisma.) The difficulty of the roll is, uh, whatever I say it is at the time. I generally like having loose target numbers to beat that I can judge on the fly instead of a hard table of numbers, this lets me have a rules dial I can tweak to keep a game moving along and maintain the fun / drama / insanity that our game sessions become. I do expect Faith rolls to be a little difficult though. Also I stole some stuff from DCC and filed the serial numbers off for Faith rolls: every time you roll a 1 on a Faith roll you fail and you suffer Divine Disapproval (there's a table for this I'll post another time), also every time you fail a Faith roll (even if it's just a regular failure) your Disapproval range moves up 1 (so after your first failure you risk Disapproval on a 1 or 2). Your Disapproval range resets to 1 every day. You can get a bonus to a Faith roll by possessing powerful sacred relics, sacrificing treasure, and/or scourging your unworthy flesh (a small bonus for losing hit points, a bigger bonus for losing ability score points, a big-ass bonus for permanently maiming yourself).

 

4. Clerics need a holy symbol for this, no roll is needed; instead the undead make a morale roll on 2d6 according to the rules below.

 

5. This is inspired by Blessed characters in old school Deadlands (I don't just steal ideas from Dungeon Crawl Classics!). Divine Intervention lets you do crazy, dramatic, Old Testament-style effects -- you tell me the DM what you want to happen and if it's suitably "I AM THE LORD THY GOD ALPHA AND OMEGA AND BEHOLD A PALE HORSE" then you A: sacrifice one whole level and B: make a Faith roll. (You can get bonuses to this Faith roll in the usual ways, so a player will probably do enough sacrificing etc. to get the max bonus to the roll and succeed at their mighty miracle, but that's ok because hey it's your levels you're losing). Success on the Faith roll means you get your Divine Intervention and THE RIVERS TURN TO BLOOD, or THE FIRSTBORN ARE SLAIN, or CATS AND DOGS LIVING TOGETHER, MASS HYSTERIA!

 

6. Another thing inspired by Deadlands Blessed characters. Clerics get to roll on the Holy Gifts table at first level and I think I let my one cleric roll again at level five, so a new random gift at every fifth level is probably a good ruling. Some of the gifts seem pretty powerful and that's because they are, game balance is for COWARDS. The Holy Gifts table is below. (And yes there is also an Unholy Gifts table but we'll get to that another time.)

Heal: By laying on hands the cleric can heal the target for 1d6 plus the cleric's level in hit points. A person can only receive this healing once a day. Clerics can't heal their own wounds. (The die size is supposed to increase at later levels but high level play is a vague area for my players on account of how much we crave death.)

Cure: By laying on hands the cleric can cure someone of a disease, infirmities like blindness, or magical afflictions like petrification or polymorphing. They can also restore the cleric's level in lost ability score points. Failing this roll means that thing can't be healed by that cleric. Clerics can't cure their own afflictions.

Bless: The recipient of the Blessing receives a bonus equal to the cleric's level on the next roll of the cleric's choosing. This roll can be as specific as the cleric wants. Clerics can't bless themselves. One Blessing per person at a time, Blessings last for one day.

Purify: Up to one day's worth of food and water is cleansed of poisons, toxins, and other harmful substances. One Purification is good for up to four people's rations for the day. (This has never come up, my players never think to worry about food or like dying of exposure when they go into a wilderness so they mostly steal or starve.)

Turn Undead: Clerics can turn away and rebuke undead monsters and ghosts and such with the power of their faith. By brandishing a holy symbol they can force the monster to make a Morale check (it's a 2d6 roll, modified by stuff like being on holy / unholy ground, is it like dawn on the Feast of Saint Magnus or midnight on All-Fiends' Eve, any necromantic meddling, etc.). If the cleric is three or more levels higher than the monster a failed Morale check means exorcism and instant destruction. Assume zombies/skeletons have Morale 4-6, ghouls/ghosts/vampires 6-8, more powerful vampires 8-10, liches 11-12.

Faith Bonus

Holy Relic: Certain sacred relics give a bonus to Faith rolls for as long as the cleric possesses the item. It'll be a small bonus and I'll probably only let you have one relic at a time but it'll be a bonus to every Faith roll you make. A saint's finger bone would give +1 and an actual shard of the True Cross would be +2. 

Sacrifices: By sacrificing unto God, a cleric can improve their Faith roll. Offerings of material wealth are typical. The wealth must be burned, melted down, donated to the needy, contributed to a temple, or otherwise relieved from the cleric's possession. It can be donated as part of a special rite or just hurled into the offering plate. The cleric gets +1 to their next Faith roll for every 100 gold (or equivalent) sacrificed.
Scourging: Clerics can also get a +1 bonus to their next Faith roll for every d4 damage they inflict on themselves, or +3 for every point of an ability score they sacrifice (by rending their flesh, peeling the skin off their faces, etc.; this is basically spellburn from DCC), or +5 or more if they permanently maim themselves (chop off an arm or leg, and no you can't get it healed later or you'll piss off God, He'll be all WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I MADE THE WORLD?!)

Holy Gifts

1. Beast Friend: You get +4 on reaction rolls with normal animals and they are generally friendly toward you unless attacked.

2. Charismatic: Charisma goes straight to 18, or 20 if it's already 18.

3. Mystical Hermit: You only need a single bite of food, a single sip of water, and one breath of air every (your level) days.

4. Divine Providence: You can reroll any natural 1s you roll. If you roll another 1 then you keep that roll.

5. Favored: You can reroll any failed roll once a day.
6. Guardian Spirit: You have damage reduction equal to your Wisdom modifier (minimum 1).
7. Endurance: Your maximum hit points are immediately doubled.
8. Humility: You can't be magically dominated, charmed or possessed.

9. Lion-Hearted: You are never afraid, and get an additional +2 to all saves.
10. Clear-Sighted: You can see through illusions and disguises automatically.
11. Perfect Faith: Demons and devils can't harm or affect you directly.
12. Prophet: Heaven will answer one yes-or-no question you ask once per day.
13. Great Soul: You get a permanent +2 AC.
14. Evangelical: You can speak, read, and write all mortal languages.
15. Vitality: You are immune to all diseases & poisons.
16. Wise: Wisdom goes straight to 18, or 20 if it's already 18.
17. Zeal: You get +1 to all rolls and your normal speed is doubled.
18. Mighty: Strength goes straight to 18, or 20 if it's already 18.
19. Touched By An Angel: You are immune to any damage from fire or lightning.
20. Chosen: The next time you die, you come back in 3 rounds, at full hit points.