Wondrous Things

As I discussed in my wizard post, I like my sorcery to be twisted and dangerous. I don't like magic to be just a different kind of technology. Having said that, we also have artificers in our game, which is a class that literally mixes magic with technology. I SEE NO PROBLEM WITH THIS.

Here's an assortment of artificer gadgets for players to find. (And I'll get the artificer class posted soon.)

SNAVEEN'S DILIGENT MAGICAL MECHANISMS: This is a brass treasure chest, and inside you'll find: shears, a needle with thread, a handsaw, a hammer, and a broom. Scratched into the lid is the word JOVAKU. If you open the chest and say this command word the tools will animate, hover in the air under their own power, and flit about doing chores and being generally useful. They will return to box when the second command word is spoken (ZALINGVU -- this word was written on a piece of parchment and stuffed in the chest but now it's nowhere to be found). If the second word isn't spoken within 10 minutes the tools will do increasingly harmful/deadly "chores".

SHANG SHANG'S BITTER EYE: A fist-sized multifaceted crystal. If held by a living hand the crystal emits a disintegration ray (2d6 damage, ignores non-magical armor) every turn automatically at any fungal monsters, giant insects, and/or halflings (Shang Shang the Artificer hated all those things in particular). The crystal melts away into a puddle if exposed to 1)moonlight 2)salt water 3)the sound of church bells 4)flower petals 5)elf blood 6)poetry.

JALIRA'S LAST JEST: A finely crafted glass frog filled with a shimmering blue liquid. Smash the frog open and every humanoid creature within d6 miles polymorphs into a blue frog for d4 hours (or d4 minutes with a Fortitude save).

ZEBERO'S AFFIXABLE WINGS: A matched pair of small brown bird wings. When applied to a living creature, they meld to it and grow to a proportionate size. The creature can now fly, free and clear like a bird. They also swap 2 points of Strength for 2 points of Dexterity as bones and tendons change shape. They must eat a dozen fresh bird eggs every day or the wings rot and fall off.

MALTROBIAN'S POCKET ARMOR: A dull silver ring. Anyone wearing it can turn the ring three times and it will transform into ornate silver armor. This armor is magical, gives +5 AC, only adds 1 to encumbrance, and can be used by anyone without any armor training. The armor turns back into a ring after 2d4 turns, then it must be recharged by soaking in wine for 12 hours.

JALIRA'S MYSTICAL MUDDLER: A lavender egg-shaped device, surprisingly heavy. Any spell cast within line of sight of the Muddler becomes a Create Duck spell instead: the original spell is countered and a perfectly ordinary duck appears. The Muddler has 2d6 charges left in it, after they run out it crumbles to dust.

DARMISH'S COSMIC COLLECTION: The exquisite personal collection of the Space Wizard. It's like a science fair plus an antique store. Room-sized models of celestial bodies show events transpiring on them, although you need powerful magnification to see it. (This is just one of the things in the Collection; this is really more like its own adventure than one gadget.)

CORWELLIAN'S SPECTRAL CLOAK: A heavy silvery-blue cloak. Anyone wearing it can levitate at will, gets +3 AC, and is invisible in dim light if they remain stationary. It used to be in the personal collection of Punzo the Grasping, but it was pilfered by thieves decades ago. Punzo will murder your whole family to get it back.

MAESTRO LUCA'S ENERVATING PEPPER: Maestro Luca was a culinary enchanter who created many kitchen sorceries. This gold & ebony pepper mill can be used as a melee weapon (d6 damage) or the handle can be wound up like a regular pepper mill. The mystical pepper it produces causes uncontrollable sneezing on contact. The device never runs out of pepper.

MUZZO'S MAGNIFICENT MODULAR MAN: A platinum clockwork golem, vaguely humanoid in appearance. If you touch it and make a successful Intelligence roll the golem will change into a mechanical version of whatever creature you were thinking of. It will obey the spoken commands of anyone with an Intelligence of 15 or higher. If there's no such person around to command it, the golem will try to retreat and hide. It will viciously attack if cornered or trapped.

I like these kinds of magical items that are of questionable utility and generate entertainment at the table. (I also like giving them Jack Vance-style flowery names.) The wise course of action when you find strange items in the wild is to leave them alone but my players are more curious than wise.